There is a YouTube video of Angela Davis discussing why she chooses to wear her hair in an afro. It was filmed approximately in 1968. Today, black women still find themselves having to explain their hair.
I wore a wash and go to work one day and my coworker (a white man) came up to me, very bluntly stating, “I don’t like your hair like that. What…are you having a bad hair day?” My response resulted in him never speaking to me again. Unknowingly, those words planted their negative seed, buried deep in the back of my mind and started to come to the forefront almost a year later.
One of my friends asked me to wear an afro for the hospital’s Black History Month program. I was all game. Until the day approached and I thought about my career. I work on a military installation and they have very strict grooming standards. I’m not sure that an afro fits within those guidelines [insert sarcasm here].
Whether my natural hair sisters want to admit it or not, all of our hairstyles aren’t considered to be professional depending on the field. And blowing it out into an afro is actually taking it out of its naturally curly state. So, I technically wouldn’t even be able to argue discrimination.
I did not want a conscious decision to undermine everything I have worked so hard for. What if this ruins my reputation? I also did not want to be “that girl” who showed up to work looking like she was electrocuted. Being a veteran myself, I am well aware of the grooming standards military service members are required to maintain. But, technically, I’m no longer required to abide by military grooming standards. So, this would be more of a political move that I wasn’t sure was worth the risk.
Maybe if it was back in 1960 when it was the norm to wear afros, I would do it. Wait. But even that did not sit well with me. I’ve never been one to fit in, so why try to fit in now? The added pressure of special guests had me uneasy because I did not want to embarrass our command. I was not really concerned about if my hair style was appealing to everyone. I guess the real issue was what the big wigs will have to say about it. Pun intended.
I did not want my message to be taken out of context or turned into a joke. In a world that constantly pushes women of color to relax their hair, I just want people to relax if I don’t chemically alter mine.
I thought about wearing an afro for the event and pulling it into a bun later on. Then, I decided that was no longer an option. I needed to stand up and be the change I wish to see.
Update: I did it! Stopped being a punk and decided to go for the gusto. I was going back and forth debating with my mom and friends. Friends were on the fence, my mom was telling me to do it. When my husband caught wind of it, he was perplexed as to why it was a question in the first place.
Why speak on Black History but opt to leave out an integral part of it? The point of all of this is, it’s much bigger than wearing big hair. It’s about the need to change the messaging behind natural hair equating to unruly or unmanageable. It’s about being carefree when your hair is wild and curly. Being okay when you don’t fit inside the four corners of an “ideal” box. It’s about standing up for what you believe, even if taking a stance involves a great deal of risk and discomfort.
Considering how much I had to ponder about a hairstyle, I can’t imagine how it must have felt fighting for equality during the Civil Rights Movement. If I am to be a social activist, perhaps this was a small test. Fighting for change means you will be going against the grain and you won’t have the majority in your corner. Nevertheless, continue to fight for whatever difference you are trying to make. Preserve your energy because slow and steady wins the race. You cannot expect change if you never go through some changes yourself.